I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
