I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
is wine microwaveable?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize