so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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