idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
