But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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