I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
