Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
