pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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