i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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