well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
