Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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