If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
don't judge my taste in strippers
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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