I molested 6 butterflies tonight
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
