I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
