there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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