I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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