i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
