I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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