dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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