I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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