My nipple is on Facebook.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
