Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
