The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize