i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
a search helicopter?!
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
