i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
