Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Come see our sink grown plant.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
