Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
