Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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