I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
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WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
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She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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