Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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