She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
