I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
