Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
