butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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