i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I puked a lego.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
