i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
