Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
