I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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