It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize