i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Boobs are out for the taking
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
