He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
