Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
