Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
