So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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