He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize