How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so let's talk penis.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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