"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
