If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize