i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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