It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
you never un-have a 4some
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
