Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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