Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
