i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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