he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I am mentally ready for anal.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
