I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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