i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
