How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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