I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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