Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
