what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
