and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize