I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
