i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize