Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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