i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
