Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
