I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
