Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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