She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
