No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Who put my cat in the fridge?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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