We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
