i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize