Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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